Fatherhood
by Jezmaiya
Summary: A crackfic. How would the male characters of KnB handle fatherhood? Chapter three: A series of Omake situations. Kagami and Aomine as in-laws? Midorima cursing people? Akashi in depression? Kise's... Papa call? Read and find out. Suggestions for situations are accepted. (I don't own the cover)
1. Prom Night

**Ever wonder how your favourite basketball heads would handle fatherhood? Especially the dreaded, 'Prom night?'**

**Well here goes...**

**I own nothing.**

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**GoM**

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**_Kuroko Tetsuya:_**

He stood in front of his daughter's prom date; the teen didn't seem to notice him at all. "Excuse me," He said.

The boy jumped, screaming as he staggered back. "Sh*t!" He exclaimed. Kuroko frowned at the boy's language.

"Alright, then, I'm ready to go now." Kuroko Kana descended to the doorway where her date sat on the ground, frozen by her father's glare. "Oh god," She mumbled before helping her date up. "Dad, can you at least wear that bell mom and I got you?" She asked him sweetly.

Her father's blank stare didn't waver. "Never," He replied bluntly, Nigou by his feet growling at the boy.

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**_Midorima Shintarou:_**

"What is your rank in your school results?"

"Ninth, sir."

"What do your parents work as?"

"My father's a manager and my mother's a teacher, sir."

"Do you play any sports?"

"Soccer, sir."

"Do you smoke?"

"No, sir."

"Are you on drugs?"

"No, sir…"

"Are you a virgin?"

"…"

Midorima Honaka stared at her father with disbelief. "Dad!" She exclaimed, grabbing her date by his arm. "That's totally inappropriate!" She protested.

"It was a valid question, dear," Her father pushed up his glasses before glaring down at the young man before him. He could already see him sweating bullets. "Now my final question," He looked at the boy seriously once more. "What is your horoscope?"

"Leo, sir."

Midorima's glasses glinted. "You're both not compatible, get out." He told the boy sternly.

"Oh my god, dad!"

* * *

**_Murasakibara Atsushi:_**

The purple giant towered over the poor boy. "You're so tiny…" He told him. "I just want to crush you…" His daughter's date passed out.

"Hey dad, is my…" Murasakibara looked up at his daughter, Kyoko. Walking towards her father, she glanced down at the passed out boy. "Did you crush him?"

"No."

"Can you buy me ice cream then?" Kyoko asked softly.

"Alright, let's go now while your mother's not looking." With that, they snuck away to the convience store. Kyoko's date completely forgotten. There is a saying in the Muraskibara family, when there's ice cream, forget prom.

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_**Kise Ryouta:**_

Tears streamed down the model's eyes as he clung onto his eldest son's arm, sobbing heavily as he pointed at his daughter's date. "He's not good looking enough," He wailed. "How will he ever match up to my darling daughter?" He whimpered.

His son said nothing but simply glared at his sister's date. "You do something to her, and I'll kill you." The blonde boy threatened, his eyes sending shudders down the other teen's spine.

"Alright, I'm ready for my close up." At the sight of his eldest daughter, Kise broke out into harder tears. "Aw dad, it's alright," She told him. "It's not like you're marrying me off." She joked.

Kise shook his head before jabbing a finger at the boy. "He's not good enough for you, just look at his face." Kise Sakura's jaw dropped at her father's blunt words.

"How shallow can you get dad!?"

"I'm being honest, dear."

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**_Aomine Daiki:_**

Aomine Takuma looked at the door as he noted his sister's date had arrived. "Dad, Sora's date is here," He called into the house.

"Alright, let him in." Takuma obliged as the poor teen walked into the Aomine household. "So," The teen dropped the corsage in his hand as he stared fearfully at his date's father. Aomine Daiki smirked, a dark aura blooming around him as he casually wiped the barrel of his shotgun in his hand. "You're Sora's date, huh?"

"Ye-yes s-sir…" The teen managed to splutter as he eyed the humongous black dog beside the man's chair. Its sharp teeth chewing on a toy as its eyes froze him in place.

"Speak up, boy," Aomine told him sharply.

"Yes sir!" The boy squeaked.

Aomine smirked. "Now let's go over the ground rules of what's going to happen tonight," Takuma could only watch his father scare the poor boy, in a way, he pitied his sister's date. After all, his father had gone and bought a hunting gun all for him.

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**_Akashi Seijuro:_**

_*snap*snap_

The boy passed out to the ground.

"Pathetic," He murmured before making his way to his daughter's room, placing his lucky scissors back in his yukata's pocket. "Hime-chan," He said, knocking softly on the door as a petite girl opened it. "I'm sorry but your date told me that he didn't want to go with you anymore." He lied through his teeth.

Tears formed in his daughter's eyes as Akashi moved to give her a nice warm hug. "Daddy…" She whispered softly as her purple eyes stared up at him.

"Yes Hime-chan?" He mused.

"Destroy him." She said coldly, her face darkening as Akashi smiled.

"Of course Hime-chan, anything for you," He snapped his fingers as a butler appeared. "Prepare the archery board, I would like to practice my aim tonight." He told him. "Oh, and please make sure that our little unwanted guest is present."

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**Seirin**

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**_Kagami Taiga:_**

He glared as he unleashed his animal instincts. The boy before him fainted from fear. At that moment, Kagami snapped out of the zone. "Hey dude, are you okay?" He asked. Looking around, he began sweating. "Oh crap," He swore as he shook the teen hard. "Wake up, dude!" He yelled.

"Oh dad…" Kagami sweat dropped as he looked at his daughter. "What did you do to him?" A dark aura resembling a lion formed behind his daughter as she approached her father.

'Sh*t!' Kagami mentally screamed.

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_**Hyuuga Junpei:**_

The man was in clutch mode, there was no denying it.

"If you bring her back late, I'll kill you. If you touch her, I'll kill you. If you even dare kiss her, I'll kill you. And if you break her heart, ever… I'll kill you than bring you back so that I can kill over, and over again." The flaming background behind the bespectacled man was very hard to miss.

* * *

_**Kiyoshi Teppei:**_

"Over here," The man smiled, snapping another photo of the two. "Alright one more..."

"Dad…" His daughter complained. "Please, can we just go?" She asked him.

Kiyoshi covered his eyes as he silently sulked in a corner. "My daughter doesn't love me anymore."

"Alright, one more photo then." She told him.

At that, a flowery background formed from behind the man as he grinned happily.

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**Kaijo**

* * *

_**Kasamatsu Yukio:**_

"I expect you to bring her home on time," His arms crossed as he glared at the teen. "Remember eleven pm is her limit." He said as the teen nodded.

Kasamatsu turned as a small smile formed on his lips as his daughter walked down the steps before embracing her date. At that, the man flinched before jumping to the air and kicking his daughter's date through pure instinct. "What did I say about hugging her, don't make me kick you boy!"

"Dad! You already kicked him."

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**Shutoku**

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_**Takao Kazunari:**_

"So how's life?"

"It's good."

"Hey do like basketball?"

"No…"

"…"

"…"

"Get out of my house."

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**Touou**

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_**Imayoshi Shouichi:**_

The man smiled at his daughter's date. "I don't like you face very much, in fact, it makes me disappointed to look at it." His smile never once flattered. "I really don't like you at all and if I had a chance, I would throw you out but that would be rude. Not to mention that my dear daughter would never forgive me for doing that."

The teen across him stared wide mouthed in disbelief.

"Now, now, don't catch flies, especially if you plan on kissing my dear Kasumi-chan."

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_**Sakurai Ryou:**_

"I'm sorry,"

"…"

"I'm so sorry!"

"…"

"Please forgive me!"

'What the f*ck is wrong with him?'

* * *

**So, any other situation suggestions I should try? Please tell me if you have an idea!**


	2. Measurements Day

**... So I'm meant to be studying for my exams next week but... well, this is post exam stress relief... hope you enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own KnB.**

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**Measurements day - a father's worst nightmare.**

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**Kuroko Tetsuya:**

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**Looking up at the clock, Kuroko paused as he stared up the staircase longingly, expecting Kana to run down any moment like she normally did. Instead, he was replied with silence. "Dear, is Kana feeling alright today?" He asked his wife as she paused from her knitting for a moment. **

**"Kana? Well she left already, something about not wanting to be late for measurements day." There was a brief silence followed by a chair scratching backwards. "Are you going somewhere, Tetsu?" His wife asked him with a smile. **

**Kuroko nodded, grabbing a black leash as he ushered for Nigou to follow. "I'm going out for a walk, dear. I'll be back soon." Exiting the house, he made his way to Seirin High school. Walking into the compound unnoticed, he paused by at tree, bringing out the leash as Nigou pouted. "Don't worry, it'll only take a few minutes." He put the leash onto the dog before tying the end to the tree. **

**The moment he was done, Nigou seemed to attract a crowd of students. "Aww! Isn't he the cutest thing?" Or "Oh my god! He's so adorable." **

**Going unnoticed by students, Kuroko headed into the main building. Within moments, the school's fire alarm went off. Students immediately dispatched to their respective places as a blue haired phantom walked casually out of the school compound.**

**It was an hour later when Kana came home. "I'm home!" She called out, placing her school shoes to a side before entering the living room. Kuroko sat, newspaper in hand as he spared a glance before continuing to read.**

** His wife raised a brow. "Why are you home so early?" She asked.**

**Kana shrugged. "Well the fire alarm went off suddenly so they sent all the students home as a safety precaution. Since it wasn't planned, the teachers aren't taking a risk, but then they found three suspicious men outside the school compound." She explained. "Oh well, I'm going to take Nigou for a walk now." Said dog frowned as he was already tired from this mornings little adventure. **

**Kuroko looked at his wife as she gave him a pointed look. "Yes, dear?"**

**"What did you do Tetsu?" **

**His blue eyes averted back to his paper. "If you are implying that I started a fire in the men's bathroom, you are quite mistaken." He told her bluntly. "I simply pulled the lever."**

* * *

**Midorima Shintarou and Takao Kanuzari:**

* * *

**Midorima was busy at work, he could not believe the amount of patients the hospital had this month. It was crazy. There was a knock on the door as he barely looked up to see none other than Takao Kanuzari. 'So this is what Oha Asa meant by unwanted disturbances...' He growled in his mind as his fellow friend openly entered the office. **

**"Ehh~ Shin-chan is actually working today?" He asked as he plopped himself down in the black chair in front of Midorima. "I thought you'd take a day off since its is Shutuko's measurements day." Midorima stood, his palm slamming down on the desk, making Takao jump slightly.**

**"Get the rickshaw," He demanded, a deathly aura seemed to engulf the man.**

**'You got rid of the rickshaw after you got married...' Takao gulped. "We can take your car," Takao said as he sweat-dropped.**

**"Get the car then," Takao proceed to turn away until he felt a tap on his shoulder, turning around, a heavy golden totem pole was shoved into his arms. "My lucky item." Midorima simply stated, ignoring how Takao's face turned purple as he followed Midorima, who had taken his phone out as he quickly dialled a number. **

**Honaka smiled as she nervously glanced at the boys. It was so obvious what the boys were thinking, with their flushed pink cheeks. "Hey Honaka," She smiled and looked at her friends. "Is the Midorima Hospital doing the check ups today?" The girl asked. Honaka shook her head in relief and shyly smiled. "No, my dad was too busy and thought it would be a waste of time and resources for the hospital to do that." **

**"Then why is the director of the Midorima hospital here?" The same girl asked, her finger pointed to the school gate as she turned dreading to see her father, his arms crossed as he glared at every single boy that dared to blush from the school's gate. His high school friend, Takao standing beside him, that damned golden totem pole statue in his arms. The moment Midorima spotted his daughter, the girl knew it was the end of the world for her. **

**"Why did you not inform me that it was your measurements day?" Midorima asked his daughter.**

**Takao smiled as he waved at his own daughter, the girl proceeded to look away, acting as if she didn't know him. Heart broken, he turned to Midorima. "Shin-chan! Why is my daughter so cruel sometimes." Comedic tears streamed down his face. **

**Midorima scowled. "Not now, Takao," he snapped before looking back at his daughter. He froze as he noticed that everyone seemed to have gone inside to do their measurements. "Takao, lets go." They stormed into the building.**

**Looking around, Honaka didn't see her father anywhere. She let out a sigh of relief. 'He must have left.'**

**Elsewhere...**

**"Peeping Tom to the right!" Takao said, his hawk eyes proving to be very useful after so many years. "Over there, launch." **

**Midorima flicked his wrist as the basketball vanished from his grasp and suddenly found itself on a teenager's head. "Next target," Midorima said, his hand grabbing another ball from the basket of balls they had 'borrowed'.**

**Needless to say, Shutuko had cancelled Measurements day for the next few years after a 'several' basketball had mysteriously landed on peeping toms throughout the day.**

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**Murasakibara Atsushi:**

* * *

**"Measurement day?" The tall purple haired man said. "Okay." He hung up as he continued to move on with life. Nothing was more important to him that his snack time. He held confidence in his daughter to crush any guy that would try to peep on her.**

**There was a moment of silence before his phone rang again. Looking down he read an incoming message.**

**'Dad, I accidentally crushed someone. What do I do?'**

**Looking up, Murasakibara thought for a moment before replying.**

**'Go buy a snack.'**

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**Kise Ryota &amp; Kasamatsu Yukio:**

* * *

**"This is Agent Copycat Blondie to Agent Bushy-brows/Sexy high knee socks," Kise whispered. He hid in a bush as he wore a bush hat, along with two mud streaks on each cheek. "Come in, Agent Bushy-brows/ Sexy high knee socks," He whispered into his sparkling pink limited edition Hello Kitty walkie talkie he borrowed from his adorable twin daughters spy set. **

**"WHO ARE YOU CALLING BUSHY BROWS AND SEXY HIGH KNEE SOCKS YOU DAMN OVERGROWN PUPPY!?" Kasamatsu screamed, standing up in a nearby bush. He jabbed a finger at Kise, in his other hand, he held an equally sparkly device. "AND I'M ONLY TWO FOOTSTEPS AWAY!" He screamed, a twitch mark on the man's forehead as they stood outside the gates of Kaijo High. **

**Comedic tears streamed down from Kise's face as the blonde now stood up as well. "Senpai! Why are you so mean to me?" He shouted back with a pout.**

**"Hey isn't that Kise Ryouta?" Students began to whisper as they pointed at the oblivious duo who had begun a screaming match.**

**"Yeah, Sakura's dad... But why is he wearing that weird hat and shouting at a guy two steps away?" **

**"I don't know, it must be an old man thing."**

**"Is that a limited edition Hello Kitty pink sparkling walkie talkie they're holding?"**

**"... Do you think they're gay for each other?"**

**"Who cares it's measurements day," With that, the students walked away.**

**Later that day...**

**"Please Coach, you have to cancel it!" Kise wailed, clutching onto his former coach's shirt. Surprisingly, the man was still working here. **

**"Stop doing that before I kick you," Kasamatsu's foot slammed into Kise's face as the blonde flew across the room. **

**Kise sat up, waterfall tears returned, a palm to his face. "Sempai! Don't you cared for your daughter at a-" A history book was chucked at the blonde's face.**

**Kasamatsu panted, his hand out from throwing that book. "Don't judge my parenting skills!" He yelled.**

**"SEMPAI!"**

**Needless to say, they got nothing done.**

* * *

**Aomine Daiki, Imayoshi Shouichi &amp; Sakurai Ryou:**

* * *

**"Sir, are you sure?" Aomine nodded, he readjusted his helmet and gun as he ushered for his police force to follow closely behind him. **

**"Alright men, let's go!" He said as his fellow police officers and SWAT squads charged into the compound, screams were heard. "Pass me the megaphone," Aomine said before stepping out in front of the hoarde of police men and bomb specialist. "Alright people! You have ten seconds to evacuate the building and compound! I have a warrant to lock down this building!" Nobody moved. "You'll all die if you don't move." He yelled into the megaphone as the sea of Touou Academy students ran past his police force, screaming at the top of the lungs. "Move people, move! There's a bomb inside that building!" He continually yelled into the megaphone. **

**"Say... Daiki," He turned to see Imayoshi, his fellow sempai. "There isn't a bomb in there is there?" He asked the tanned man, his famous creepy smile showing. **

**"Imayoshi-sempai, I am not that smart to have my son put a fake dynamite toy into his sister's bag." Aomine proudly said. "I am hurt that you would think that."**

**Imayoshi chuckled to himself. 'He can be surprisingly clever when it comes to ruining his daughter's social life.'**

**"Where's Sakurai-kun?" Imayoshi suddenly said as they noted their companion missing. **

**Aomine shrugged. "Don't know..."**

**"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," They both looked behind to see their brown haired friend bowing for forgiveness in front a sea of panicked parents that had arrived on the scene.**

**'That apologizing mushroom...' They both sweatdropped. **

**Imayoshi looked away from Sakurai as he smiled at Aomine. "So, next year?"**

**"I'll rob a zoo at night and keep all the animals in the gym." Aomine casually replied. **

**'He's surprisingly very prepared for these things...' Imayoshi chuckled.**

* * *

**Akashi Seijuro:**

* * *

**Akashi Himeji smiled as she bowed for her mother before proceeding to kiss her father on his cheek. Stepping one step to the her left, she bent down and kissed her second youngest brother on his cheek. The boy scowled as he rubbed his cheek before moving the shogi piece forward. Himeji chuckled before bowing to her father before moving towards the door. **

**"Will you be off?" Akashi asked his daughter, his eyes not moving from the board as his brain analyzed a counter attack on his son. **

**Himeji stopped in her footsteps. "Yes, father," She said as he nodded. The girl walked out of the house.**

**His wife stared at him as she sipped her cup of tea, in her lap their other son slept. "I'm surprised you're so calm, Sei-kun," She said, staring out the window as Himeji proceeded to enter the car. "Today is Rakuzan's yearly measurement day."**

**"On the contrary, my dear," Akashi said, flipping over the shogi board to reveal a screen. "I have everything planned." **

**"Father!" His younger son pouted as the boy huffed. "You always do this to me when I'm about to win." Akashi petted the ten year old's head.**

** "Hush," Akashi said as the boy stood up and proceeded to cuddle his mother instead, muttering under his breath about how evil his father could be at times. Akashi promptly ignored his son as his eyes focused on the screen as he took out his phone, dialing a certain number. "Are you in position?" He asked, putting the phone on loud speaker as he placed it beside him on the ground.**

**"Affirmative, sir," The Akashi family's head butler's voice came through.**

**"Good, remember to push the red button for the scissors to launch and the green for rubber bullets." His wife could only sigh at her husbands antics. "Now let's have a tester," Akashi said. On the screen, a teacher was walking into the medical room where measurements were to be taken place today. "Green," There was a scream. "Now, red," There was another scream, but it was louder. "Perfect."**

**"Mother," The woman looked down at her sleepy son, the young boy yawned as he rubbed his red eyes. "What is father doing?" He asked softly.**

**"Being a sore loser." His elder brother said. **

**Staring back at their father, they watched as screams emitted from the screen.**

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**Kagami Taiga, Hyuuga Junpei &amp; Kiyoshi Teppei:**

* * *

**Coming from America, it was only natural that Kagami didn't know what measurements day was... Until he found out after moving back to Japan. Hence why he had teamed up with Hyuuga and Kiyoshi to stop the day from happening at all cost.**

**(5 Minutes before Kuroko's Stunt)**

**"Alright," Hyuuga said, he was in clutch mode as he held a glass bottle in his hand. A cloth was hanging from the bottle's mouth as oil has been poured into the bottle. "When I light this and throw it at the window, we'll wait until the smoke alarm goes off." He said, looking at Kagami who was dressed in firemen gear. "Then you go inside and get everyone out Kagami, like you do at work." Kagami nodded. "Any questions?" He asked.**

**Kiyoshi put his hand up. "Why do we have to use violence? We could always go hug the Principle and ask him nicely to cancel the whole thing."**

**"No." Hyuuga snapped. "Alright at the count of th-" A twitch mark on his forehead as he glared at Kiyoshi who had his hand raised again. "What now!?"**

**"Why does Kagami get to be the fireman?"**

**"Because that's his job/ That's my job!" Both Hyuuga and Kagami yelled back. **

**Hyuuga let out a sigh before he lit the cloth. "One, tw-"**

**Ring~**

**All three of them froze. They heard screams of students running out of the building.**

**"Over there!" **

**'Shit!' Hyuuga swore before throwing the bottle away and running away from teachers that had begun chasing them.**

**Hence, three suspicious men.**

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**And that's all. Wish me luck for my exams!~**


	3. A Series Of Omakes

**Completed my first exam on Tuesday, felt really good about it, and then I died the next day during part two :( I typed this out on my phone during my depression. Hopefully I'll do better on my other exams next week :) *Crossing my fingers* Anyway, I hope you like it. Not an official chapter. Oh, please leave some questions for the next chapter... AN INTERVIEW FOR OUR DEAR KNB FATHERS.**

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**Omake:**

**In-laws?**

**Kagami Taiga &amp; Aomine Daiki**

**"Bye dad, I'm going out," Kagami Kurumi said before the thirteen year old ran out of the door. A bright smile decorated the girl's face as she waved at her elder sister before charging out the door. **

**Kagami stared at his daughter's disappearing figure. He wasn't even aware she was going out today. "Where's the munchkin going?" He asked his elder daughter, who sat down and began to lounge on the couch. **

**His eldest daughter smirked. "On a date."**

**"EEEHHHHH!" Within seconds, he was barging out the door, his eyes in the zone as he chased after his daughter. It wasn't long before he caught up to her. She stood waiting by a cafe, Kagami crouched down behind a bush as he waited patiently. 'So who's the bastard that dared ask my daughter, my youngest daughter (!) out on a date?' He grumbled as a dark aura loomed into the air. People behind the red haired tiger immediately ran away the moment they sensed the malice. It cut deep. **

**"Ah, Takuma-Kun!" Kurumi exclaimed, her cheeks flushed as she bowed down. **

**Kagami froze for a moment as he sighed. 'She's so adorable!~' Within seconds he snapped back to reality. 'Wait a damn minute, she wasn't talking to me!' The killing intent returned as he glared at his daughter's date.**

**The boy was nothing from what he expected. Tanned skin, navy blue hair and a relaxed atmosphere around him. In one finger he balanced a spinning basketball. 'GANGURO!' That was the first thing that came into Kagami's mind. Squinting his eyes, the more he looked at him, the more Kagami felt that the boy looked familiar to him somehow... **

**"Bakagami..." He snapped his head to the right to see someone he didn't expect.**

**His jaw slacked. "Ahomine!" He exclaimed in shocked before the man shushed him and forced his head down as the two children looked their way.**

**Aomine craned his neck and let out a sigh of relief as both kids went back to talking. He released his tight grip of Kagami's head. "I knew you were an idiot, but you didn't have to make so much of a ruckus... So," The former basketball player turned policeman/detective asked. "What are you doing here?"**

**"Spying on my daughter and her date,"**

**"Funny, I'm just watching my son interact with a friend." They were both looking at the two kids. There was a brief silence.**

**...**

**"That's your kid!" They both exclaimed wide eyed. "That means..." A flowery image of Kagami walking an older Kurumi down the aisle appeared as she smiled. Aomine Takuma stood at the alter. Kagami was crying tears, in his mind he was cursing that his daughter was marrying his nemesis's son. It hurt it his pride so badly, and to add insult he had to give her away. Damn him!**

**"IN-LAWS!?" They screamed clutching their heads. **

**"No! I don't want quarter ganguro grandkids!" Kagami exclaimed.**

**A twitch mark appeared on Aomine's forehead. "What the hell are you trying to do? Piss me off you racist bastard?" He snapped back, his hand threatening to grab his gun and shoot the tiger down.**

**"I didn't mean it that way AHOMINE." Kagami retorted.**

**"Oh really BAKAGAMI?" Aomine snidely returned.**

**There was bolt of lightning between them. Aomine stood up and yelled at his son. "Takuma, pass me the basketball." His son stared at the sudden appearance of his father. Kagami stood up too as Kurumi gasped. "Let's go, one-on-one!" He declared. Takuma wordlessly passed the ball to his father.**

**"I'll beat you for sure." Kagami replied as he followed the policeman to the nearest basketball court.**

**"Why was your dad with my dad?" Takuma asked Kurumi. The other girl blushed.**

**"He probably thought we were on a date." Kurumi replied.**

**Takuma stared at the red head. "... Talking is a date?" Takuma muttered. "Doesn't that mean my sister is on a date every five minutes?" The image of Aomine Sora appeared in the boy's head. He could practically imagine his sister animatedly chatting every few minutes on her phone. "... I don't think I'll ever date." Takuma turned around. "I'll live as a lone wolf." He raised a hand. "See yeah, Kagami-San." **

**Kurumi blushed as her heart broke. Her crush had just stated that he'll never date. Suddenly, all the anger rose inside of her as she clenched her fist and screamed out to the sky. "I HATE YOU DAD! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!" A deadly aura burst from within the girl as the people all around her made a mad dash to save their life. **

**Elsewhere...**

**Kagami shivered. "I feel the airs of a deadly threat coming for me," He said as he paused from playing basketball. **

**Aomine chuckled. "Probably one of your daughters cursing you." He told him.**

**"How do you know?" He asked with a raised brow.**

**Aomine sighed. "Experience." He sounded so proud. "It feels good to know you've ruined your daughter's social life."**

**Kagami stared at him blankly. "I don't know whether to pity your daughter or you since you actually have time to do all this..."**

* * *

**Pills**

**Midorima Shintarou &amp; Takao Kanuzari**

**"And I want the pat-" Midorima froze midway in his sentence as he back tracked and stared at Honoka in the kitchen. "What are you making?" He demanded.**

**Takao popped his head through the doorway and grinned as he instantly spotted the tray of chocolate mix. "Awe~ Is Honoka-chan making chocolates for a special someone?" The girl didn't reply, instead Honoka blushed and quickly left the kitchen. "Don't you think that cute Shin-chan? Eh... Shin-chan..." Takao swear dropped as he stared at the older man. He didn't know how, or want to know how the man got a wooden straw doll. **

**A murderous air surrounding the kitchen as Midorima scooped a bit of chocolate into the doll. "I curse this person, whoever eats the chocolate will endure extreme pain." The green haired man muttered, chuckling to himself as he produced a long needle and proceeded to sew the open hole in the doll. He let out a low, creepy chuckle before pocketing the doll and producing a bottle of pills.**

**Takao's eyes widened. "Shin-chan, aren't those the diarrhoea pills?" He exclaimed. It was too late though, his jaw slacked as he watched Midorima pour the entire bottle as little yellow pills fell into the tray, slowing sinking in. "EEEPPP!" Takao exclaimed as he tried to scoop them out but a bandaged hand slapped his hands away. "Shin-chan! Putting anti-diarrhoea pills only causes diarrhoea! And! And you know that..." The green haired man was evilly chuckling.**

**"Takao, the things I do to protect my daughter, and as long as I have my lucky item..." He took out a pocket knife kit, equipped with seven different knives. "Nothing I do will come back to me." His glasses gleamed. **

**'Evil...'**

* * *

**The Most Wins**

**Kagami; Hyuuga and Kiyoshi sighed as they drank their sorrows away. Needless to say, their families found out about their (failed) attempt to stop measurements day. **

**"You all seem upset," They jumped as they stared to see a powdered blue haired man. "It's been a while."**

**"KUROKO?!" They exclaimed. "What are you doing here?" **

**"Akashi-Kun asked us to meet up," He simply replied before resuming to drink his vanilla milkshake. **

**Hyuuga raised a brow. "Why would he call you guys here when he lives all the way in Kyoto?" He asked. **

**"Because I would like to discuss a very important matter." Akashi said, suddenly appearing, the rest of the Generation of Miracles and some surprisingly familiar faces along with them.**

**"EEHHH?" Hyuuga exclaimed, noting the former captains of Kaijo and Touou, Sakurai and Takao. **

**"What's up?" Takao greeted. **

**Midorima scowled. "At least act your age," He scolded the former point guard as Takao laughed half-heartedly.**

**"So why are you all here?" Kiyoshi spoke up as all eyes landed on Akashi. **

**Akashi coughed into his hand. "My wife gave me a book, I read that in that book, the man with the most children is the most superior." He explained. "So... How many children do you have?" He demanded in an authoritative voice. **

**Everyone seemed to sweat-drop. 'When did this become a competition?' They all exclaimed in their mind. **

**"Shintarou," Akashi begins. "How many?" He asked. **

**Midorima blushed slightly. "One daughter, but it's not like I want more or anything, hmph..." He darkly looked away.**

**Takao laughed. "Don't worry Shin-Chan, I also have one daughter too." **

**Akashi's gaze landed on Aomine. The tanned man flinched slightly. "One daughter and son," He said before he nudged Sakurai who went down on his knees.**

**"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry," He began saying. "Two sons, and one daughter," He spluttered before bowing to Akashi. **

**'I wonder how his kids are if he's like that...' Everyone thought, the image of three children looking like Sakurai bowing on the ground and spluttering apologies was very vivid in everyone's mind. **

**"Well I have a son, and daughter." Imayoshi said, turning to Murasakibara. "What about you?" He asked the purple haired man.**

**Murasakibara paused from snacking. "Hmmm... Muro-chin suggested I try to have another but Kyoko is all I need or else I won't have enough money for my hourly snacks." He explained.**

**'Food is more important that his kid...' Everyone sweat dropped. **

**"Oh, Muro-chin's still not married." Murasakibara announced. **

**Kagami raised a brow. "Really? I thought he'd be married first since a lot of girls are in love with him and all." He explained, recalling several confessions the boy had received during their childhood. **

**"Oh, he said he's still running away from rabid fangirls that had tried to catch him." **

**'Wow...' Kagami sweatdropped.**

**"What about you Kuro-chin?" Murasakibara spoke up. **

**"One daughter and a dog, Nigou." He bluntly said.**

**"Nigou doesn't count!" Hyuuga exclaimed.**

**"I have one daughter who is so bea-" Kiyoshi didn't finish as Hyuuga smacked his head.**

**Kagami let out a sigh of relief. He didn't need to hear that story for the hundredth time again. "What about you sempai?" He asked. "How many kids?" **

**"One daughter, and a little boy." He said proudly. **

**"That is not as impressive as mine," Akashi stated. "I have three sons and one daughter." A beam of sunshine raining down on him as if he had clearly won.**

**"Kise has four daughters and two son," Kasamatsu spoke up, all eyes turned to the blonde haired man who chuckled sheepishly. **

**All eyes then turned back to Akashi, the man took a seat beside Kuroko, a dark cloud hung over him. "Ryouta is more superior than me..." He trailed off. **

**Within seconds, everyone seemed to be patting Kise's back. "Good luck, I hope I see you alive tomorrow." They all murmured as the blonde began to tear up.**

* * *

**The Papa Call**

**"Ehh, how many kids do you have now Aomineicchi?" Kise asked with a smile. It was a casual Saturday, and Kise was finally free from his job to meet up with Aomine. **

**The tanned man raised a brow. "It's still two, why?" A beam of sunshine floated towards Aomine as the tanned man grabbed his beer and casually moved a few seats away. "What the hell was that?" He exclaimed as the blonde glow faded away.**

**Kise grinned. "It's my papa call," He showed Aomine a thumbs up. "Whenever I return from a job overseas, I always give the papa call when I come home and my little girls always come running to papa~" Kise sighed as he beamed.**

**'That house is seriously messed up.' Aomine thought as he sweatdropped. **

**"Aomineicchi, you should try it," Kise suggested. "Maybe your kids will warm up to you more."**

**"Huh?"**

**Later that night...**

**"Papa's home," Aomine walked into his house with a bright beam of sunlight. "Come give papa some love." He said, his eyes closed like Kise had instructed.**

**There was pregnant silence. He opened his eyes as his jaws slacked as he spotted his parents and in-laws. He began sweating as his old man stood up and walked over to him. The elder Aomine placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "Son..." He said. "I never knew you swung that way." He sighed, patting the man.**

**'WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN?!' Aomine mentally screamed.**

* * *

**That's all. Remember to send in questions for the next chapter, an interview where the fathers have to answer the reader's questions. And as of now... I must return to studying :( **


	4. Interview

**I do not own KnB.**

* * *

**Interview**:

"Hello dear readers, I'm Himuro Tatsuya and I shall be your host today," Himuro announces as a stage lights up. Each KnB father sat on a stool as a spot light shone down on them.

Kagami's eyes widen at the sight of Himuro. "Tatsuya! Why are you here?" He exclaimed in English.

"Ah, Muro-chin, you're the host." Murasakibara said as Himuro simply smiled.

"Yes, unlike all of you, I am still single due to that fact that I am still running for my life." Himuro calmly said. "You lucky bastards." He told them all as everyone silently sweatdropped. "Now moving on, our first question from...**_Another Observer of the world_**, and it's directed to... Kuroko Tetsuya?" All the other fathers let out a sigh of relief. "And the question is... Is your wife Momoi?"

The other spotlight dimmed as all eyes turned to Kuroko. "My apologies, _**Another Observer of the world**_, I am not married to Momoi. My wife's name is Ai, and we met in University. My apologies once more if I have disappointed you, but it had been an unrequited love, and Momoi has now fallen in love with cooking." Kuroko bowed politely towards the camera.

Himuro nodded. "Next question, and we're still on Kuroko. How can you survive Momoi's cooking?" He asked. Aomine laughed out loud.

Kuroko nodded. "Well, misdirection does not only apply to me. Sometimes, I can make food disappear, but it doesn't seem to work with Momoi's food. So if I do eat it... Well please prepare me a stomach pump." 'Cruel...' Everyone thought.

Elsewhere in the world, a Momoi Satsuki sneezed before promptly continuing to bake. Momoi Satsuki was a award winning chef, with her famous, yet odd motto: 'Suck it Ganguro!' Astounding the world, courtesy of her childhood friend who told her she couldn't cook (Which then drove her to learn).

"Alright then, next question, Kuroko, do you cook?" Himuro asked.

"I can only boil eggs."

"Can your daughter cook?" Kuroko paused for a moment to think.

"Kana can cook, but only simple delicacies."

Himuro nods. "I see, that's all from _**Another Observer of the world**_, and on to our next victim, I mean father." Himuro sheepishly smiled, his poker face not changing.

"Damn your poker face!" Kagami yelled at him.

"It's all natural, Taiga!" Himuro replied. 'Yeah right...' Everyone thought.

Himuro smiled as a card dropped down and landed into his hands. "Alright, and these questions are for... Kuroko, again!" Kuroko calmly nodded. "And **_Xavier_** asks, 'how much do you love your daughter?'"

"Although my face does not show it, I love my daughter till the point that I would even pull her school's fire alarm to keep her away from peeping Toms." Kuroko replied, Himuro smiled, his face not changing. Hyuuga; Kiyoshi and Kagami's eyes widened as they jumped from their seats. "That was you!" They (Hyuuga and Kagami) exclaimed.

"It's because of you our plan was ruined," Hyuuga yelled. Himuro kindly passed Kuroko a basketball as the bluenette nodded.

Himuro coughed into the microphone he held. "Please return to your seat unless you would like to face our security measure, Kuroko's famous Ignite Kai pass to the stomach." Silence followed as all three returned to their seats. "And the next question is, 'If your daughter would have a boyfriend, do you think your daughter would be polite enough to let him meet you first before asking if she could have a boyfriend?'"

A seemingly dark aura began to seep out from behind Kuroko, but the phantom remained impassive. "What do you mean by boyfriend, Himuro-san? My daughter already has plenty of friends that are boys? Isn't that enough?"

Himuro chuckled as all the other fathers nodded in agreement, "Well said Kuroko!" They held a thumbs to the blue haired man who nodded his head back. "Moving on, 'How were your first days of being a father?'" Himuro asked, holding out a microphone out for Kuroko to answer.

Kuroko scratched his chin lightly, "Kana was always a quiet one, she often slept. So my first days of a father were rather calm, and wonderful." He admitted, a smile on his lips as his eyes softened. "It was great becoming a father." He added. "I have to regrets."

Himuro smiled, "I see, since your answer actually answered the next question, lets just skip it." Himuro laughed, tossing the cards aside. "Now, because all these questions are Kuroko aimed, I feel the need to amuse our readers with questions of my own personal interests." A poker smile gleamed off Himuro's face as three spotlights shone down on Kagami; Hyuuga and Kiyoshi. "Recently, I came across a very interesting article about three suspicious men, would you care to elaborate more on why you were pursuing careers as future pedophilers? Hmm?" Aomine roared with laughter as Kise and Takao stifled their laughter.

"Well," Kiyoshi began with a smile before Hyuuga and Kagami lunged at the taller man, silencing him before he regretted it.

"Oh my, now it's a gay harem..." Himuro continued to comment as the other males sweatdropped.

'He's enjoying this too much.'

Tatsuya smiled, "Alright, for my next victim," he coughed. "I mean father, Kise, please elaborate what you claim to be the 'Papa call', and it's origins."

The blonde closed his eyes before his expression turned serious. "For centuries the Egyptians had wondered for a way t-" The blonde was cut off as his ex-captain had slammed his foot into the blonde's face, kicking him out of his own chair.

"How did you even graduate aviation school!" Kasamatsu exclaimed as the blonde sat up, a hand on his face as tears threatened to fall.

A glowing gold gleam began to furiously emit from Kise's body as he held his arms out. "Papa's been hurt," within seconds two blonde hair girls jumped into Kise's arms.

"Don't worry, Papa, we're here." The twin with the pink bow said. The other twin with a purple bow nodded in agreement.

Kise smiled. "Papa's so happy!" He exclaimed before he squeezed them both tightly. "You're such good girls!" He told them, ruffling their hairs.

Himuro smiled. "This is a fine example of childhood innocence before they begin to leave the nest," he narrated as the spotlight turned to the other fathers whose heads were darkly hung over in depression, except for Kiyoshi, Kuroko and Akashi. "As you can see, the effects of when children attempt leave the nest."

Kiyoshi grinned, placing a hand on Hyuuga's shoulder. "It was all fun," he told him. "Isn't that right, Kuroko?" He said.

The blue haired father nodded, silently turning to Akashi. "You seem rather calm," He said, in a monotonous tone.

Akashi chuckled. "Tetsuya, my children can never leave the nest. _**Ever**_." The last part sent a chill down everyone's spine.

'So he's that kind of father...' Everyone thought, staring at the calm smiling red head.

Himuro smiled as he turned back to the audience. "And that is all for The Interviews, Kuroko focused of course." He grinned before he waved goodbye.

.

.

.

**Trapped:**

Everyone:

"How did it come to this?" Kagami screamed as he pointed to the other contestants that were trapped in the studio along with him. "And why are you here?" He exclaimed, pointing his finger to Himuro who was smiling, sitting beside Murasakibara.

Himuro simply responded with his usual poker face smile. "After the show, a hoard of fangirls had come chasing after me. I promptly locked myself in the janitors closet, and when I opened it, I found you lot huddled in a hobo circle." He said, his grin unflattering.

"As the host, shouldn't you have an extra key?" Akashi asked.

Himuro shook his head. "My apologies, but I was only host for this chapter, I do not own a set of keys." He apologized.

"Do you at least know the way out of here?" Midorima asked him.

"Yes, but there are five possible escape routes. However, since this studio was built over an old game house, I don't know if you'll escape or not."

...

"In other words," Imayoshi spoke up, an evil glint in his eyes. "Only one passage leads outside."

Himuro nodded. "Yes." He replied.

His words began to sink in as all the father began to eye each other suspiciously. "So this is like 'Survivor' than..." Kagami said, his red eyes narrowing on his competition.

Aomine grinned at him. "Bring it on!" He shouted.

Akashi closed his eyes. "If there is anyone that would be escaping, that would be me." He declared, standing up.

Himuro smiled, staring at them with a sigh. "If only the interview could be this exciting."

_**Next time on Fatherhood: Survivor**_

_**"No, how could you betray us!"**_

_**"Shin-chan! Don't die on me!"**_

_**"You fiend, how could you?"**_

_**"You were my light... Goodbye."**_

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_**Stay tuned for more next time.**_


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